A "Gift"

I know everyone prayed so much for Michael and our family during these past few weeks and I just wanted to let everyone know how the Lord took care of us through this very difficult time.

First, our whole family was able to get to the hospital before Michael passed away.  Mike's dad had been in Alabama for 7 weeks helping clean up after the tornado's.  He made it to the hospital around 3:30pm and Michael passed away several hours later.  Mike's sister and her family also came from Kansas City and made it in to see him before he passed away.  My parents and sister and brother also made it to the hospital that evening.  Everyone was there for us and everyone had a chance to see him before he passed away.  I am so thankful for this. 

Second, on the day Michael died the doctors kept updating us on his situation.  At one point during the day both our pediatrician and Neonatologist informed us that Michael was not in a good situation.  Even if his little body was able to fight off the infection, they have no idea the damage that had been done and what the lasting consequences might be.  His blood pressure was so low for so long that it was not perfusing his organs and his oxygen levels were so low for so long that they had no idea that damage that may have been done to his brain.  They informed us we might reach a point when treating him any longer would cause more harm than good.  They said we may reach a point where we must consider whether to push on.  Mike and I looked at each other and knew this was a decision we could never make.  We prayed that it would be in God's hands and either God would heal Michael or take him to heaven.  We are so thankful when God decided it was time he took him quickly.  Michael did not suffer and for this we will be forever thankful.  We thank God and know he answered our prayers when we did not have to make any decisions on continuing Michaels care.

Lastly, I want to share a story about Michael's Nurse Shannon.  At St. John's NICU they do what is called primary nursing.  This means if you come across a nurse you really like you can request they be your childs primary nurse.  When the nurse works, she is assigned to your child.  We met Shannon when Michael was just a couple of days old.  She even informed us about the primary nursing.  I cannot explain how Shannon made us feel, however I can tell you when Mike and I left Michael's room that night we both said we definitely want Shannon for a primary nurse.  Well a couple days passed and Shannon agreed to be a primary and we just had to set it up with the charge nurse.  The day before Michael died we squared everthing away with the charge nurse and Shannon was set to be Michael's primary.  That Tuesday evening we went home and later got the call that Michael was not doing so well.  Before the night nurse left she informed us Shannon would be there that day and she would be Michael's nurse.  Mike and I were relieved to know she would be coming in that day but had no idea how she would change our lives.  With Mike and I both being pharmacists and knowing the drugs he was on we knew things were not good.  When Shannon came in, we tried to get a feel for the type of situation we were in and wondering if this is something Michael could beat.  Shannon just looked at us and said" I believe in miracles and I see them all the time".  She told us today Michael was her only concern and she was there to take care of him.  She not only took care of him but she took care of Mike and I also.  She knew everything we needed and when we needed it.  We found out later on in the day that Shannon had a daughter, Gabby, that was born at 23 weeks and only lived for an hour.  She had been in our shoes and she knew what we needed.  She laughed and cried with us, she was there for us every moment of his last day.  And when he passed away she was there.  Even though I know her shift was over, she stayed.  She made our family a scrap book of Michael's things that we will treasure forever.  She stayed and removed all of Michael's IV lines and gave him a bath.  She took pictures of him and printed them out for us.  There was also a little blood on his blanket and she took it home and washed it for us.  I have no idea how long she stayed to take care of him.  But I know in the short amount of time we knew her she took care of Michael the way we would have.  I have no doubt God let Michael hang on until Shannon was there.  God knew we needed Shannon.  After we came home and had time for our minds to clear I realized that by Shannon losing Gabby, she had a gift.  I told Shannon I was so sorry to know she had lost a child also, but Gabby was an amazing gift.  I will never know the number of families that Shannon has helped though this unimaginable situation.  But I know she knew exactly what we needed because she had been there and her unimaginable situation has helped her change the lives of so many  families.  She is someone our family will never forget.  Shannon even showed up to Michael's memorial service on Sunday.  I have never known someone for such a short period of time and felt like they are part of my family.  Mike and I will never be able to express how grateful we are to her for taking such wonderful care of our precious baby.  We do thank the Lord he gave us Shannon and she will forever hold a place in our hearts.  I only hope someday we will be able to use God's gift of Michael to somehow make a difference in someone else's life.

I have had several people inquire about memorials for Michael.  Our church is in the processing of building a playground.  We are requesting all memorials for Michael be made to Chapel of the Lake in Lake St Louis-(in memo memorial for Michael-Playground).   If anyone needs any further information/addresses please let us know.  These can be sent to us or directly to the church.

Thanks again to everyone for their support and prayers.